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Public Class GeoffAppleby

Inherits Microsoft.VisualBasic.MVP : Implements IBrainFart
A Couple of Observations.

Over the last couple of weeks, there's a couple things that I've noticed that I thought I'd share. The first is to do with body fat, the second to do with snot.

Observation #1. When Americans are overweight, they're extremely overweight.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that they're all overweight, or anything like that. It's just that in the last month, I've actually picked up a couple of TShirts that were bought in the US and then sent to me.

The first was from my parents. They recently made a trip to the States, and they brought me back a couple of shirts. Shirts that were too big. Shirts that according to the tag are too small. Australia must have a different measuring system than the US does - in Oz, I buy myself shirts that are 6XL, and they fit just about right. These shirts from America were 3XL, and they're a smidge too big - they fit fine around my shoulders (I've got pretty large shoulders) but it's too big over the belly.

The second was a CodeBetter shirt. I'd been meaning to get one for ages, and when Brendan offered, I snapped it up. Now, remember, I'm used to buying 6XL shirts - so when the largest available was 4XL, I figured I'd take it and give it to the wife to wear.

Oh my god.

4XL from the states would fit two of me. I'm not a small guy either.

Observation #2. Evolution demands that we pick our nose.

How do I figure this? Look carefully at everyone you meet. Look at their hands. Look carefully. some people have big hands, some small. Some have short fat fingers, some long and thin. Some are long and fat.

It doesn't matter. Just look at how thick their fingers are, especially the first part.

Now look at how large their nostrils are. Not their nose - that's irrelevant, it's the nostrils that matter.

It doesn't matter how big or small your fingers are (or, I should say thick or thin) your nostrils are the exact right to stick that finger of yours up your nose and to do some hunting. Me, I've got really big hands and fingers. I still don't have a proper wedding ring, because we can't afford the amount of metal it's going to take - I'm a Z15 in ring size. This means I'm 15 size past Z, where most guys are around the S or T mark (I'm guessing here, but that sounds about right). But my nostrils still fit my finger.

My wife has little fingers. Her nostrils, too are small - but the finger still fits!

I think I've made my point. It's obvious that the human body is built specifically so that we can pick our noses, and not worry about finding a tissue or hankie.

 

I just thought I'd share these thoughts.

Thankyou.

Posted: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 8:56 PM by Geoff Appleby

Comments

Deb said:

Great, now I'm going to be looking at everyone's fingers and noses from now on.
See, I told you suck.

Oh btw, Alex and I just got around to watching the finale of Supernatural. O.M.G. is all I'ma gonna say. :P
# May 30, 2006 4:25 AM

Jordana said:

For those of you in the US...  Geoffs ring size is bigger than a 20 (from the wife with small fingers and small nostrils).
# May 30, 2006 5:14 AM

Brendan said:

Well, you can alway sleep in the shirt, just make sure you get your codebetter slippers and stocking cap to match.

I've heard that finger-nostril theory before.. In fact, I've refuted it before.  None of my fingers fits well in my nose, which is a shame since I'm not short on booger production.  It's led me to want to invent a nose picking device.  Please don't print any of this.
# May 31, 2006 5:48 PM
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